2. Stop Trying to Make Her Like You — page 13

2. Stop Trying to Make Her Like You

Here's one of the fastest ways to become less attractive:

Meet a woman you really like and immediately make her opinion of you more important than your opinion of her.

Men do this without noticing.

You laugh harder at her jokes.

You agree with things you don't agree with.

You hide opinions in case they're unpopular.

You start giving compliments that go beyond what you actually know about her.

You rearrange your whole week because Tuesday at 6:40 is the only slot she offered.

You answer instantly because you don't want the conversation to die.

You keep pursuing because "maybe she's just busy."

The problem isn't kindness.

Kindness is attractive.

The problem is approval-seeking.

Those are not the same thing.

A kind man can say no.

A kind man can disagree.

A kind man can walk away.

A kind man can be sexually direct while still being respectful.

An approval-seeking man is nice because he wants something in return.

He offers agreement for acceptance.

Favours for affection.

Availability for attention.

And then he quietly becomes resentful when the deal he never explained doesn't pay out.

That is the real lesson hiding underneath a lot of old "nice guy" advice.

NEEDINESS ISN'T A SMELL WOMEN DETECT

Dating books often talk about neediness as though women have a supernatural radar.