3. Confidence You Don't Have to Fake — page 17

You do not get that evidence by watching dating videos in bed.

FAKE CONFIDENCE IS NOISY

Fake confidence usually announces itself.

It talks too much.

Brags.

Interrupts.

Turns every story into a status display.

Pretends not to care.

Tries to dominate every room.

Makes jokes at other people's expense.

Needs to be seen winning.

Real confidence has less to prove.

It can ask questions.

It can let silence breathe.

It can give credit.

It can be warm without feeling weak.

It can admit attraction without handing over self-respect.

BUILD EVIDENCE, NOT AFFIRMATIONS

If you want more confidence, collect proof.

Get fitter.

Learn to dress properly.

Get better at your job.

Improve your friendships.

Become competent at something hard.

Talk to strangers without needing anything.

Make plans and keep them.

Do what you tell yourself you're going to do.

That last one matters more than it sounds.

Every time you keep a promise to yourself, you strengthen the feeling that you can rely on yourself.

And a man who relies on himself doesn't need every woman he meets to reassure him that he's okay.